Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Randomize
