Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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