I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
