One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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