Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
