Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
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