it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
Randomize
