you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
