the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
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