guys are not supposed to queef...right?
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
