yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
She told me I should be a condom model.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
