I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
