this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Randomize
