he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize
