Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
Randomize
