What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Randomize
