nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
