Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
