She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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