I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize
