How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
No stitches, just platelets and will power
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Randomize
