Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
