She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize
