Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Randomize
