So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize
