Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
She announced her abortion via fbk
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Randomize
