Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
