im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
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