So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
I wish there were birth control emojis
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
