I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
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