i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
do nipples grow back?
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
