no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Randomize
