Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
My day in three words: secret purse cake
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
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