the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
Randomize
