I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
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