she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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