somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
Randomize
