Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
jump out the window naked night went bad
Randomize
