I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
Randomize
