she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
Randomize
