Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
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