im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
either way he was missing a nipple.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
Randomize
