Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
Four minutes until I can fart!
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Randomize
