I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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