Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
Randomize