watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
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