The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
