I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
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