I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
i've created a new STD.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
