Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
