why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Randomize
