We're like a lot better than the average bears
u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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