I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Randomize
