That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
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