thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
