Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
