Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
that is very illegal...i love you.
Randomize
