dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
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