Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
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