i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
Randomize
